Proof of Insanity
by LilyandArabella
Summary: All chapters have a different view on things. Meaning that some are informative, some are humorous and so on. Don\'t expect long chapters either.
1. Wake up and watch the midgets

Proof of Insanity  
By: The Lily part of Lily*and*Arabella  
  
A/N: This is my challenge from Arabella. The requirements are:  
  
1. Someone must say: The chickens are on fire.  
2. No one but Ron can say Severus or Snape.  
3. It must include dancing midgets.  
4. Someone must sing "You remind me" by Usher.  
5. Someone must have a major crush on Usher.  
6. Usher cannot make an appearance in the fic.  
7. There must be a game of spin the bottle.  
8. Hermione must sculpt someone in the nude (pose or no pose).  
9. Someone must repeatedly be called "Dumb butt".  
10. No one can say "Wand".  
  
  
  
"Ron, Wake up! It's already 7:30!!" Hermione shouted in Ron's ear. Time flew on the weekends, and Ron and Hermione weren't accustomed to such early wake ups.   
  
"I'm up! Where are Rachel and Maggie?" Ron asked as though afraid of the thought of having to get 2 little monsters away from flammable materials. Rachel and Maggie were Ron and Hermione's twin children. They were very energetic and mischievous. They were pretty much like Fred and George except Rachel and Maggie were girls and they weren't identical.   
  
"I think that they're in their rooms. I just hope they aren't plotting to kill us", Hermione said quite casually although she couldn't hide the "fear". It might have just been that she was starting in the insanity ward of St. Mungo's today. Hermione has worked as a E.M.W. (emergency medical wizard) for the past two years. But now she will be one of the head doctors working in the insanity ward. "I would just hate to die on an important day like this", she added. "Oh, now I remember why today is important!" Ron exclaimed. Hermione gave him a withering look and he hid under the covers. "Ok, it's really time to get up, Ron.", she said.  
  
At the exact same time Rachel and Maggie ran in with some giggling midgets and ordered them to start dancing around the bed. "Where did you get those midgets?" Hermione asked not too calmly. Rachel and Maggie were rolling on the floor, laughing histerically. When they finally calmed down, their answer was "Our friend Jill let us borrow some. Her dad works in the Magical Creatures department.", Rachel said laughing even harder. That statement was true because Seamus Finnigan did work in that department and Jill was Rachel and Maggie's friend. But how Jill had gotten her hands on some very rare dancing midgets, Ron and Hermione couldn't find out. With a wave of her wand the midgets disappeared, and Hermione started to laugh. Ron whispered to Hermione, "If they don't stop with these weird'jokes', I will seriously go insane!" That made Hermione laugh harder. Thinking that their work was done Rachel and Maggie walked out of the room.   
  
"Let's go eat something", said Hermione happily.   
  
"I want waffles!!!" Maggie shouted shrilly. Rachel nodded her head in agreement. They would never eat different things. Ron and Hermione both had a strange suspicion that they planned their meals earlier. So now instaed of having scrambled eggs everyone was doomed to have waffles, because if Rachel and Maggie had waffles, everyone had waffles.   
  
After their meal Hermione went off to work on her old Nimbus 2004, and Ron was going to take the day off because his mom was unusually busy and couldn't watch Rachel and Maggie. It didn't really matter, because Ron was going to teach both of them how to fly as well as uncle Harry who was off on some secret errand for the intelligence department with a friend(Draco Malfoy). Of course harry Potter wasn't really Rachel and Maggie's uncle but they always called him that.   
  
Ron's job as junior minister wasn't fun, so he liked spending time outside of his office. But hermione was a full fledged work-acholic. They had been dating ever since Harry started hanging around at work a lot and didn't really care for what was going on around him. Even Cho his long time girlfriend had noticed the change. For awhile no one had said anything, but one day, Cho stood up to him and told him to open his eyes and enjoy life again. After that Harry took Cho on a trip around the world. When they returned, harry broke up with Cho, and it's kid of needless to say that Cho didn't take it well. Harry or Cho have never mentioned why they called it off, that still remains a mystery.   
  
6 years ago Ron and Hermione got married, and a year later they had Rachel and Maggie. Harry congragulated them, and flew away to New Zealand where his big summer home was. He got back right after they were born. He became Rachel's Godfather, and flew back to New Zealand. No one saw him for 3 months.  
  
"Let's go, Let's go!!" Rachel tugged on Ron's sleeve.  
  
"I'm coming", he said, and he walked out, closing the door behind him.  
  
  
A/N: Good?? I kinda hope u review to tell me what you think. You don't really have to, but I would appreciate it. Second chapter on it's way with more weird twists (maybe a slashy theme or two). Thanx, bye!  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Pets and a Disaster

Proof of Insanity   
  
by: Lily*and*Arabella   
  
  
  
Ch.2- Pets and a Disaster   
  
  
  
A/N:Since I'm home sick from school I've had time to think about this, well, not really, but what are you gonna do about it?   
I warn you.....this chapter has no requirements cuz it sorta explains stuff. If you don't like anything being weird or crazy , I encourage you to stop reading now before you get into the story. Also, be aware that this is written by an Ron/Hermione shipper.....so don't expect big fights, cuz I don't think I can do that.   
  
  
  
As soon as Ron stepped outside a energetic brown haired copy of hermione ran straight into his arms and immediateley asked, "Daddy, can we get a puppy?" Ron tried to think about thhis bout didn't have much time because Rachel flew into Ron's arms and asked the same question. Obviously ruffled, Ron walked back inside followed by Rachel and Maggie, who were anxiously awaiting an answer.   
  
"You kids want anything to drink?"Ron asked as he poured himself some frezzing cold water. Although it was quite mild the humidity wasn't helping. "No...I want a puppy," Rachel pouted "and so does Maggie!"Maggie gave her dad a small look.   
  
"One way we can solve this is to owl your mum."Ron said soothingly patting both their heads. Just then the doorbell rang. As always, Rachel was first at the door. "Uncle Harry!"   
Maggie wasn't far behind her. "Whatcha got?"Of course, Harry wasn't really Rachel and maggie's uncle, but they both grew to calling him that.   
  
"Hi! I'm glad to see you too, Tiger", he said to Rachel. And from behind his back he pulled a purple box that Rachel immediately took, but didn't open, they always played a guessing game.   
  
"And what kind of stunt are we pulling today, Little H.?" greetting Maggie in the usual manner. And from his pocket he extracted a bright yellow box. "Don't open those....yet", Harry advised both of them with a mysterious grin"Where's your father?"   
  
"Kitchen", both of the girls said off-handedly, already trying to pry the boxes open without cutting the ribbons on them.   
  
"I see your in a good mood" Harry stated sitting in a chair next to Ron who was running his fingers through his hair. "What's wrong?"   
  
  
"Oh nothing, Rachel and Maggie want a dog, Seamus and Lavendar are bringing Jill over, Hermione is going to be home early, that means I have to start dinner early." he said taking a breath and asked, "Can you watch them while I go check in at the Office?"   
  
"Sure!", Harry replied. Ron knew he didn't need to ask, because Harry had a much easier time controlling the terrible two+their friend, and loved showing Ron that everytime.   
  
"If Hermione owls, tell her to send me an Apparating Message at my office", Ron said. And he entered the hallway to find that his wand was being used as a rather useful tool to pry the lid off the boxes. Ron snatched the wand back much to the annoyance of Rachel and Maggie. "Bye girls, I'm going to the office, Uncle Harry will keep an eye on you,"Ron said.   
  
"Ok, bye" they both said, already on Harry's lap, holding their boxes tightly.   
  
"Have a blast!" Harry said.   
  
With a faint *pop* Ron disappeared.   
  
Ron appeared right in the edge of Diagon alley and slowly made his way past all of the shops. All around him he heard parents yelling at their children, fussing middle-aged witches bargain hunting. Once, he got to Gringotts, he took a path on the right around it, and Ron found himself on a wide stretching lawn leading up to a slate marble bulding with tall towers and huge windows. As Ron passed trough the doors of this vast building at least half a dozen witches and wizards surrounded him with questions. "Meet me in my office, Jenna", "No I don't have time for an interview for the prophet right now, Colin.", "No, i have not spoken with the minister yet", and for awhile all he did was answer questions until he got to his office and was met by Jenna.   
  
"Hi, Ron, we have some trouble", she said. Ron took one glance at her hazel eyes and knew it was quite big. "The minister has been rumored missing." Ron froze.   
"Rita Skeeter is starting a nasty rumor that you did this to get to the top of the Ministry." Jenna kept going, "We've checked his house and Mrs. Fudge says he left this morning, and people saw him on the Ministry grounds, but he seemed to have disappeared somewhere between gringotts and here." Ron sat down and sent a telepathic message to Hermione, and sure enough she appeared right before him a minute later.   
  
"This better be good, Ron" said an impatient projection of Hermione.   
  
"Fudge is missing" Ron said. With a soft scream Hermione fainted.   
  
  
  
A/N; Why did hermione faint? Why id fudge so impotant? Wil Rachel and Maggie get a puppy? What was in those boxes? Where are all the Weasleys? All these question and more will be answered in chapter 3, or will they? R/R as usual if you care. Remember when I said slashy theme? I won't be doing that for a while(I've got a different plan for Draco Leroy Malfoy). Bye!!!!!!!!!!   
P.S. I wish i could write longer chapters.....   
  
Thanx to the reviewers, Arabella, and my little baby weiner dog who inspired me in a strange way.   
  
Oh and if you have any ideas for the next chapter be sure to IM(on AIM) me at Fire Princess036, or email me at HPfan1988@spce.com.


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